BORING AZALEAS

The boring thing about azaleas is that they're pretty for two weeks while they bloom, but for the rest of the year, blech...

LISA'S STEALTH GARDEN

Contains a tomato plant, squash, and some other things, I am told. Looks like it's doing well. The reason why it's in the front yard is because the backyard is a total mess (my fault, as always).




Hoping the Cypress Point "lawn gestapo" doesn't cite us for having veggies instead of useless ornamentals up front.

I KNOW THIS IS STUPID BUT THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT...

Is this the very devil's flesh?

Okay, I'm leaving now...

GREAT BUMPER STICKERS

Saw a great bumper sticker at Lowe's the other day, but unfortunately didn't have my camera with me. It read:

WHAT WOULD SCOOBY DO?

But, as consolation, here's one I did snap in Hillsborough, North Carolina, in August, 2008, that I thought was pretty neat.

TO TONGUE, OR NOT TO TONGUE?

That is indeed the question.



Some things are harder to cook than others, and this was not a success. Next time...

MAGGIE THE MAGNOLIA

I planted Maggie 15 years ago when she was shorter than me (and that's pretty short). Now she's taller than the two-story house. Admirable as she is, she does shed huge brown leaves all the time, and picking up after her is a drag. Also, she likes to use her low-lying branches to interfere with Lisa's van, so I have to trim her every now and again.

Still, she's quite a sight, and I wouldn't trade her for any other tree, though a nice linden tree would be tempting. I hear they have some at Monticello, which is only a three-hour drive from here, so I might go up there one day and snag some seeds. Maybe Maggie won't mind.

RODENT MISBEHAVIOR

Some people are getting to feel a little too much at home around here. One could speculate about the inevitability of a life of crime for this varmint...

SECRETS OF CHRYSLER'S FAILURE UNVEILED!

I finally figured out why Chrysler is fading fast.

I recently had the dubious pleasure of having to replace the heater core in my 2000 Dodge Dakota. if you’re not technically savvy, the heater core is a radiator through which hot engine coolant circulates, delivering toasty air to your toes. If the core springs a leak, it delivers stinking fog throughout your vehicle’s interior. This miasma just loves to settle on the windows, making driving an act of blind faith. (Ahem, pun!)

The thing is: to get at the heater core, you have to drain the cooling system and then have someone discharge the air conditioning system. Then you go home and rip out the entire dashboard, disconnecting what seems to be hundreds of wires and vacuum lines in the process. If you don’t reconnect everything properly, you’re toast, and you have to go in all over again. If you have it done in a shop, you’re out a cool thou to replace a forty-dollar part.

On hearing that I was going to attempt this feat, Joe the friendly neighborhood mechanic smiled a little and wished me luck. He said, somewhat ominously, that Chrysler seems to design the heating system first, then builds the car around it. I think he was expecting me to make a mess of it and then slink in his direction, suitably humbled.

But I had the last laugh (after a bunch of tears). It took very slow work, lots of Post-its and Scotch tape to label everything and, above all, an intimate knowledge of expletives and the courage to use them. When I returned to the garage to have the air conditioning system recharged, Joe the mechanic acted as though nothing had been at stake. But I know that, deep down inside, he was suitably impressed.

Which brings me back to my original claim. Had Chrysler designed their cars first and heating systems afterward, things would have turned out much differently. But I suspect it’s too late now, and more time-honored American automobile brands will bite the dust soon. I, for one, will mourn them, flawed design process or no.

OLD "SNARLES"

Harley, a little dog with the biggest and most ferocious snarl I've ever heard, appeared in our lives three years ago. He was actually about an hour away from being deported to the SPCA when, by happenstance or possibly the decree of fate, my college boy suddenly appeared at home and exclaimed: "Hey, I've been wanting a little dog like that!"

'Twas indeed a match made in heaven. Harley spent a few years in Richmond chasing, uh, females at Virginia Commonwealth University, then returned to the Old Homestead in search of a job. He quickly got back his old position of official noisemaker.

In case you haven't noticed from the picture, he loves to play...

NOT EXACTLY IN VIRGINIA, BUT...

How they grow... Niece Adela getting hitched a few weeks back in Jindřichův Hradec, the Czech Republic.

No wedding would be complete without a Praga Mignon or another venerable conveyance.

Here's wishing a long and happy life to one and all, but mainly the newlyweds! (And, hopefully, a slightly more modern way of getting around.)

WE NEVER KNEW SQUIRRELS SMACK THEIR LIPS

Johnny the baby squirrel fell inside our chimney several weeks ago. We organized a massive rescue effort, extracted him, fed and housed him, and now he is best buddies with everyone on the placve, including snarly Harley, our unruly and very noisy dog. (More about "Snarles" later.)

Johnny is rapidly mastering all the requisite squirrelly skills like climbing and jumping, but so far, table manners seem to have eluded him. He scatters bits of food everywhere when he eats, and when he is enjoying something juicy, he smacks his lips.

Never thought a squirrel could do that...